Discover your communication style and how it affects your relationships with your significant other!
- When on a date, do you…?
a) Listen more
b) Talk more
c) Listen and talk equally
- When your partner comes home after a hard day at work and starts to tell you about their day, do you…?
a) Listen sympathetically
b) Pretend to listen while tuning them out
c) Apologize and offer a hug
- When you get in a fight, you…?
a) Apologize, even if it wasn’t your fault
b) Scream and yell
c) Try to work things out rationally
- When engaging in a heated conversation, do you…?
a) Look away often or stare at your lap
b) Stare your partner down or narrow your eyes
c) Look your partner in the eye
- While you arguing, do you…?
b) Use “you” statements such as “You always” or “You never”
c) Use “I” statements such as “I feel this way because…”
- Do you feel that you are…?
c) A good balance
- Do you use the terms “always” and “never” arguing (ie. “You never do this right” or “You always do this wrong”)?
a) Never, because I want to keep the peace
b) Always, because I want to win the argument
c) On occasion, but I try not to
- In a relationship, do you feel…?
- When talking or arguing, is your voice…?
a) Soft, even inaudible at points
b) Loud, sometimes even yelling
c) Firm, but not loud
- When it comes to yours and your partner’s feelings, do you…?
a) Always put your partner’s feelings ahead of your own.
b) Always put your own feelings ahead of your partners.
c) Always consider your feelings equally.
Passive – You tend to put the rights and feelings of your partner before your own, essentially minimizing your own self worth. You often feel inferior, as if you don’t matter. Work on asserting yourself in your relationship more often. If you let your opinions known, you may be surprised at how your partner reacts. Respect your partner and what they have to say, but speak up when you disagree. Remember that it’s all about meeting in the middle.
Aggressive – You tend to put your own rights and feelings above your partner, minimizing your partner’s self worth. You often criticize your partner and make them feel unimportant, even if you don’t mean to do so. Work on talking more and yelling less. Before you fight, stop and ask yourself “is it really worth an argument?” Remember that it’s all about meeting in the middle.
Assertive – You’ve got the right balance with give and take between you and your partner. You respect one another and while you may sometimes lean away from the middle in one direction or the other, you always find your way back together.